One morning with a hummingbird

I saw a hummingbird this morning
while brushing my teeth,
looking outside.

He was suspended in the air
like film in slow motion.
His little body defying gravity
held my attention.
For a while I thought,
everything is in motion
living, living,
moving, moving,
yet still...so still.

This is the secret,
birds knew it.

I Am Worthy

Have you ever felt tenderness so undeserved it kills you?
Like you heart's breaking slowly,
but breaking beautifully.
The long numbing journey of the heart
suddenly awakened to a beat,
healing many ills.

It makes me wonder...
How have I ever become
worth this much?

Learning to inhabit your present moment

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My brother and I we talked about what would we do if we have so much money. So much money that we don't need to work for the rest of our live's. He talked about buying all the designers clothes and me touring the world. Go to Paris, Rome, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, Taiwan - yes- see the world. We talked about all the things we could do and buy, like having our refrigerator filled with chocolates and ice creams, and how we love to have a larger than life flat screen T.V (from floor to ceiling) in every room of our house. I told him I covet our neighbor's 0.86 square meter vacant lot that's on sale. Id build a gymnasium I said, and have a pool and a bookstore/library inside it. All the Agora kids can come and swim and read. Yes, even the Rugby/Vulcaseal boys. With a weather like ours there is a need to moisturize the place! We were on a roll and suddenly I asked, would this make us happy? I was surprised. My brother of course said yes it would, and then add "certainly".  (UU oi). I know in my heart of hearts that external things wont make us happy. And I was surprised with myself because I knew at that moment I have matured.

Yes it is not things that will make us happy. And you wont be happy either if you look for it. Happiness is now. Learning to inhabit your present moment is all you need to be happy. Be present now and you will never have to worry about your future(I know how it feels like to worry about the future. I went chilling worrying about it before). If you have read about the wild flowers and how they grow and how not even King Solomon  was dressed like one of them, that is the feeling of living in the moment, of inhabiting your life. I hope I can describe it not in a Zen like way but yeah it is Zen like. This is what I learned and this is what's true for me. I am in a much much better place now. And I thank God. Everything that has happened happened for a reason and it feels like somehow things are falling into its proper place. It is liberating and amusing to find that I can now say, I trust life.

Job 38:4

Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?
declare, if thou hast understanding.

Silence.
I am nothing.
There is only God.

Yet it's still is
a good morning to wake up to.

Quit your obsessing

Sometimes it cannot be helped, people get nosy over other people's lives.
We like to talk and discuss about others - the negative and positive.
The positive I encourage, because to talk about the positive things inspires us.
It beautifies our thoughts. Like a gem of ruby, gold and silver, and dusts of diamonds here and there.
Yet we are inclined to talk more about the negative- most especially the negative:
 it fuels our fascination; the juicy stuffs. And the juicy stuffs we like to share.
How sweet is the mouth that carries it to the ears hungry for entertainment!
Are we bored or just obsessed?

The negative stuffs, if it does not concern you, and if harmful to the people involved when told,
then my dear it is better for you to close your ears and shut your mouth.
Dont talk about it nor think about it anymore. You wont explode if you do.
Refuse to be a channel of bad vibes. Nor be a source of it.

If we cannot control our own lives, there is no use in trying to control others.
Or worst; try to fix it for them.
Isn't it funny how we always (always) see other people's mistakes and not see our own?
Their weaknesses, flaws, and the many imperfections,
we perceive and think and talk about over and over again.
We are all busy analyzing other people when it is not our business at all.
If we can only stop and look at ourselves instead. And be the change we want to see.
What a great amount of work to be done! What habits to change and values to develop.
And what thoughts to vanquish. Perspectives to shift!

When it is easy to blame others, quick to judge and point fingers, assume so many things,
then it is time to quit. Quit your obsessing. Get over it.
Instead of asking: Whose fault is it? and Why are they so stupid?
Why not try:
How else can I think about it?
What am I responsible for?
then maybe,
no, I am sure,
there will be hope for peace and happiness for you.