"Peace begins with a smile."
Just before i head back to sleep i just wanna list the things im grateful for today and maybe talk a little about what im going through. Confess i guess. Here we go. I have been so harassed this past few days. Just to let you know harass is the word we use when being tempted by the devil by my SFC family. (strong word eh?) Yes i have been so angry at everyone and myself without really any reason at all. Just being angry and stubborn. gah i dont really have any idea what's going on. I cant even control my emotions. For a moment i thought i wanna be selfish, i wanna go wild, stop caring, forget everything. Something like that. Its really heavy to carry when you are at that state. It is painful coz sometimes you hurt people with you knowing, which is even more painful. But then i go back and look at those pictures of people who inspire me. And i notice all those people have got beautiful smiles. I thought to my self. They are so beautiful because they are at peace with themselves. When i look at them i see kindness. arggghhhh The beauty of a kind heart. It shines and heals. It reads you and says to you i know your wounds. I remembered i read about a story of St. Therese of Lisieux and of how she was healed by her sickness. In her diary she said she saw Mama Mary smiling at her and then she was suddenly cured. It must have been a smile of kindness. The kind of smile that only kind people can produce and show and there is no way of faking it. No wonder St. Therese was healed by Our Lady's ravishing smile. Because when i see people who has got those smile it does something with my soul. A kind smile can certainly heal.
Things im grateful for today
1. Went swimming with my mom, sister and cousin at Pryce Hotel. I was so happy and giggling when i hit the water. Ah. I miss swimming. I used to swim every single day way back then in Camiguin Island. Ah those memories.
2. Grateful for Mimai's efficacent oil.
3. I am grateful that after days of being angry i am now slowly healing. Last night i just laugh and laugh at myself and it did me and my soul a whole lot of good. Smile beautiful soul. Thank you. Holy Spirit thank you.
4. Read my gratitude journal again. I miss writing on my notebook. It is so much more personal than what i have here online. So considering the thought of going back to it again than here.
5. I sleep a whole bunch last night. :P hehehe. Sleep can do your soul whole lot of good too. So if you are tired and you cant understand yourself, sometimes you just have to sleep it off.